Rules of the Matches!

Tramp’s Rules

A Fair Guide to the Rules and Regulations of Wrestlepocalypse

Hon. Charlie “The Tramp” Scaggs, esq.

OPENING BOUT: In this match, two men begin to wrestle at the sound of the bell. In order to win, one wrestler must score a pin-fall (by pinning his opponent’s shoulders to the mat for a count of three) or a submission (by causing his opponent to tap out and surrender the match). These victories must be declared by an officiating referee – that would be me. Other outcomes include a count-out, in which both wrestlers remain on the ground for a count of ten and the match is declared a draw, or a forfeit, in which repeated use of illegal maneuvers such as attacking the groin, eyes or hair, causes the offending wrestler to be disqualified. Please just leave the balls alone. For me.

GRUDGE MATCH: The same general rules apply. The specific enmity between the two opponents is no cause for any illegal maneuvers. The referee remains the final arbitrator in enforcement of the rules and regulations – this is still my house. Victory is by pin-fall or submission.

TAG TEAM MATCH: In this match, the wrestlers compete in two-man tag teams. Only one wrestler from each team fights at a time – that means only two competitors in the ring at a time. A tag is performed by a wrestler slapping his partner’s hand, at which point they have a five second grace period to switch positions. Managers may accompany a tag team but they may not enter the ring. No foreign objects or illegal moves are allowed. Victory is by pin-fall or submission. Still.

HARDCORE FATAL FOUR-WAY: The rule-book goes out the window for this match, in which four competitors fight with no teams, no restrictions… no mercy. Any and all maneuvers are legal, and all manner of unsavory foreign objects are welcome in the ring. Wrestlers may engage in combat outside the confines of the ring. Managers are permitted to be present and may even enter the ring to assist their wrestler. Basically anything goes. Wrestlers are welcome to use whatever impromptu weaponry they choose in fighting their opponents, but the first wrestler to obtain a pin-fall or submission over any other wrestler wins the match.

WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP: Three female competitors compete in a free-for-all match to win the Women’s Title Belt. There are no teams, but managers are permitted, though they may not enter the ring. As usual, foreign objects are forbidden, as are all illegal moves. First woman to achieve a pin-fall or submission is the victor.

HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Two heavyweight-class wrestlers compete, and the same rules of illegal maneuvers and foreign objects apply. Managers are permitted to be present but they may not participate. Victory is by pin-fall or submission. As usual.

KING OF THE RING MATCH: King of the Ring features two as-yet-unknown wrestlers: the new champions in possession of the Women’s Title Belt and the Heavyweight Title Belt. The victor in this match will be crowned King of the Ring, the greatest honor in all of wrestling. Victory is by pin-fall or submission. Or knockout. Or death. Or the End of Days.