Tag-Team Match

The Dopplegang vs The Unholy Union: Abraham Lincoln and Capt. Confederacy w/ John Wilkes Booth

Abraham Lincoln

As President Barack Obama took office, his nation faced grave peril. The country was being overrun by assholes.  The only way to stop the widespread and entrenched jack off-ery was to call upon two of history’s greatest fighters.
These men, though diametrically opposed in theology, agreed on one thing: that douche bags, whether they be northern or southern, black or white, need to be eradicated from the continent of North America.
When Abraham Lincoln was first contacted by President Obama, he was happy to serve the Master in Chief in any way he could.  Lincoln had always had great pride for his homeland, and knew that a house divided by wankers would soon fall.  Lincoln was much less enthusiastic when he learned that Obama had also contacted southerner and long time nemesis Captain Confederacy.
Captain Confederacy first got word of Obama’s request as he was sitting down to a alligator and ‘coon dinner with his wife and sister twice removed, Mrs. Confederacy.  At first, the Captain was appalled at the nerve of that dark skinned man who the damn Yankees call “President”.  It was only after a long discussion with close friend and manager John Wilkes Booth, and the promise from President Obama that upon victory Mississippi would no longer be part of the Union, that he agreed to team up with his lifelong enemy, Abe.
“I ain’t no goddamned educated man, but I know what a southern gentleman is,” said the Captain in an interview.  “We can’t have no punk bitches pussy frittin around here.”
“I may not like Captain Confederacy, but I know when a cause is worthy,” said Lincoln.  “I shall fight my hardest to protect this nation from deterioration at the hands of dick wads.”

Captain Confederacy

During the Civil War, the North had factories, guns, manpower and any other typical advantages associated with fighting a war. The South had cotton, Robert E Lee, and Captain Confederacy.
A secret love-child of Scarlet O’Hara and Robert E Lee, CC was conceived in Fort Sumter, which he would later single-handedly take back from the Yankees when they invaded the South. Some say they are born American but are Southern by the grace of God; CC was delivered to the heavenly chorus of the the national anthem of the Confederacy at the very moment fried chicken was discovered, leading many to believe he is a direct extension of that divine grace. Like the Confederate States of America themselves, his very existence was ordained.
The captain spent his formative years in rural Mississippi, where Jefferson Davis trained him in secret to become the South’s greatest weapon against the cunning and technology of the Union. By the age of 6, CC could effectively skin a grizzly bear, wrestle an entire gator family, and run a 400-acre plantation. It is in his fights with wildlife that he discovered a passion for wrestling – mere men could not compete with him, so he developed a fast, brutish style that mixed the strengths of bears and gators as well as rabies-infested possums. It is in these back-woods fights that he developed an unparalleled blend of quickness, strength and agility. He’s a true country boy with country strength.
His record in duels was 73-0 – by the time he was 12. Later, when he desired a challenge, he was known to participate in pistol duels unarmed. He once caught a bullet with his bare hand and threw it back at his opponent, mortally wounding him. These conflicts would always arise from issues of honor, of which he inherited a strong sense from his father. CC demands satisfaction at all times.
But CC is not a heartless super-soldier. His Southern breeding left him a true Southern gentleman, and the O’Hara blood within him gave him a true sense of chivalry and manners. What he lacks in formal education, he makes up for in charm and politeness.
His exploits on the battle field are the things of legend. As previously mentioned, he single-handedly defended Ft. Sumter from the aggressive Yankee invasion, reclaiming it for the Southland. He did little strategizing in the war, but he was often deployed in the war’s most pivotal moments. He was known to defeat rifle-toting Union soldiers with bales of cotton and his bare hands.
Nothing enrages CC as much as a suggestion that the South lost the Civil War. In fact, the Civil War is actually the War of Northern Aggression, and the South simply lost a battle in the ongoing war. The South will rise again and have its proper independence from the tyrannical and oppressive North.
CC is prone to trickery and deception as his intellect is sub-par and he lacks the skill of literacy. He possess have uncommon resourcefulness, however. He stands for honor, chivalry, the South, good manners, and hatred of Yankees. He can be easily distracted by hints of integration and tolerance as well as any derogatory slant directed towards the South.

CC came to Wrestlepocalypse because of a shared love for fried chicken with Abraham Lincoln. Though Lincoln is a despised Yankee, he is originally from Kentucky, the birthplace of Colonel Sanders and the secret fried chicken recipe known by all true Southerners. The dopplegang is attempting to steal and destroy the recipe and take it back to the dreary Northeast, hoping that the South’s absence of culinary dominance over the North would once and for all claim total victory over the South. Captain Confederacy must team up with the Kentucky-native and fellow chicken-loving Lincoln to preserve the sacred secret recipe and in so doing keep the honor of the South intact.

John Wilkes Booth

Manager
Age: 26
Height: 5 foot 8
Weight: 150 pounds
From: Bel Air Maryland
Career Highlights: Managed back-to-back-to-back Tag Team Championships in Southern Wrestling Confederacy (1862-1864)
Wrestlepocalypse Debut: 2009

After a successful career of being one of America’s premier actors, John Wilkes Booth decided to take his keen sense of finding talent to the wrestling ring. This decision was prompted by the death of his cousin, Fred “Freddy” Booth, who attempted to wrestle a bear and was fatally mauled. John Wilkes Booth is quoted as saying, “I shall not rest ‘til I discover a wrestler that can avenge Freddy’s death.”    His eye for talent led him to become a lucrative manager in the underground wrestling rings of the South. Unbeknown to most, Booth knowing Abraham Lincoln’s wrestling prowess, coaxed Lincoln to wrestle in a Southern league. During their time together a beautiful friendship evolved, and the two staged a fake assassination in order to give Lincoln more time to focus on his wrestling career.
Recently Booth has found a new wrestler, Captain Confederacy, who he claims may be stronger and faster than Lincoln. The future that Booth envisions for Captain Confederacy has led to Booth spending more time training with Captain Confederacy which some believe is creating a rift in the Lincoln-Booth friendship.

The Dopplegang

While the true age of The Dopplegang is subject to speculation, most people agree that they were likely born around the mid-to-late 1700’s.  Their mother, a poor Irish immigrant, couldn’t afford a child and so she attempted to abort the pregnancy.  During the process, she inadvertently caused the egg to split, not only failing to abort her child but actually birthing two demented half-beings, neither fully alive nor fully dead.  Shortly after their unnatural birth it was discovered that the two children were, in fact, a hive mind. While in the immediate vicinity of one another they were capable of extraordinary feats, destroying entire homes and wreaking untold havoc throughout the city. Though there were many who pressed for the children to be destroyed as deciples of Satan, their mother would not allow it. Instead the children were separated. One, known as Menace amongst the villagers, was hidden away from his brother, Gangrene, so that the two’s joint powers would never again be unleashed.
Not much is known about those years in which the two were separated. There were tales of the tortured youths fighting to return to one another. What is certain is that the two displayed an uncanny seemingly magnetic bond with one another that prevented their separation from lasting more than a few years. Once rejoined they vanished to legend, existing only as whispers and ghostly tales told by those claiming to have laid eyes on the terrible twosome. Myths and folklore gave way to cult-like superstition surrounding these appearances by the Dopplegang. As the legend goes, they appear as harbringers of misfortune and doom, disaster always coming in their wake to those souls unfortunate enough see their ravenous eyes peering through the gloom of nighttime.
The Dopplegang next shows up in history through the writings of Confederate officers and soldiers during the Civil War, particularly around the battle of Gettysburg. In his personal diary, General Robert E. Lee himself recounted an experience the night before Pinkney’s charge in which he recalls unexplainably “seeing double”. Subsequent letters written by foot soldiers go further, mentioning that Menace and Gangrene themselves appeared before them, sometimes accosting men and viciously beating them to death. The presence of the Dopplegang once more always seemed to precede another disastrous defeat for the Confederates to the point where men actively feared their coming and would engage in all forms of superstitious preventative measures to avoid an encounter.
Since they hailed from Boston, the Dopplegang were effectively on the side of the Union. Despite this, their naturally violent nature lured them into an underground wrestling circle within the Union army. It was here that their first contact with Abraham Lincoln was made. Though he was known to be “Honest Abe”, the truth was the Lincoln was notorious in this underbelly society for fixing matches and manipulating results in his favor. Seeing the Dopplegang’s dominance in the sport (they never lost a match), Lincoln conspired to tear them down. Abe set up a marquee event, the first-ever tag-team championship. Not needing an invitation, the Dopplegang appeared ringside. Attempting to stack the odds against them, Abe secretly supplied the opposing team with a vast array of weapons, as well as sending additional wrestlers during the match to aid against the Dopplegang. His efforts proved fruitless, as the Dopplegang mercilessly tortured and destroyed all comers, pounding their victims into a vicious pulp.
The Dopplegang knew it was no accident that their opponents were so heavily armed. Swearing vengeance on Lincoln for his treachery, they visited Lincoln at his home the night of his re-election. Promising him untold suffering and death, the Dopplegang disappeared without a trace just as police descended on them. Fearing that an assassination attempt was imminent, Lincoln formulated a plot to fake his death and escape to obscurity. Using long-time friend John Wilkes-Booth, Lincoln escaped the grasp of the Dopplegang one night at a theatre, leaving them sorely embittered and obsessively determined to track down the one mortal soul ever capable of eluding their deathly clutches.
History has proven to be very vague on what exactly befell the Dopplegang following their falling out with the underground wrestling federation during the Civil War. The duo continued wrestling, though many believe that the intense anger and obsession over the incident with Lincoln began robbing them of what little humanity they had to begin with. Rumors of a number of deaths surrounding matches they fought began to mount, forcing the brothers to once more fade from the public eye and disappear. The two went West at some point, at which time they made a habit of terrorizing wagon trains and lone traveling parties. Though many feared their presence on the Oregon Trail and the Pony Express none would speak of it except in the darkest corners of the quietest saloons for fear that this would bring bad luck.
Reports remained fairly scarce and some believed that the Dopplegang had at last succumbed to the effects of time and harsh weather in the west. This held true for a time and the two were ignored up until a reappearance in the late sixties. The violence and chaos of the civil rights movement drew their attention and they once more began laying waste to any that would oppose them (one police report claimed that “two men adorned in satanic garb and exhibiting unparalleled fighting ability in attacking no less than 15 officers simultaneously”). The brothers then had a brief stint on the professional wrestling circuit with the WCW. This ended after a single un-aired match when they refused to pull punches or fake moves and nearly killed their opponents in gruesome fashion. As a result of this banishment the two have always harbored deep seeded hatred and distrust of organized wrestling.
Flash forward to the late 90s. The Dopplegang worked their way through the ranks of underground and more mainstream wrestling circles, seamlessly integrating themselves into the modern landscape.  They became notorious for the extreme nature of their matches.  Many opponents declined to fight them as their fights often quickly spiraled out of control.  As a matter of fact, those who fought the Dopplegang rarely survived the encounter and those that did survive never wrestled again.  Either because of their brutal tactics or the tragic accidents that seemed to follow them, the Dopplang gained a reputation as a bunch of Boston thugs who’s very humanity was thrown into question.  Dopplegang fights became rare and they struggled to find competition.  With no one willing to fight them upfront, they would often simply show up ringside at other matches.  Their mere presence was enough to turn the tides.  Finally, in their last recorded match, the Dopplegang fought a tag team that called themselves the Smurfs.  After a ruthlessly one-sided match, the gang pinned the Smurfs.  The gang, frustrated by weak competition, ignored the ending of the match and continued to pound on the Smurfs.  They performed simultaneous neckbreakers and killed the Smurfs.  Shunned by the wrestling community and wanted by the authorities, the Dopplegang vanished, fading back into myth and shadow.  They remained that way for a number of years, an urban legend on the streets of Boston.  Now, with the chance to rekindle their fight with the Confederacy and President Lincoln, the Dopplegang has re-emerged to address unfinished business and assert themselves as the most dangerous tag-team on the planet.  They will destroy the Unholy Union and take all of Wrestlepocalypse by storm, inserting their furious selves wherever they deem fit.